2: From Perfectionism to Presence, Carolyn’s Journey to Self-Healing & Deconditioning
Introduction
Motherhood is often a catalyst for deep personal transformation. In this episode of The Wand(HER)wild Podcast, Carolyn shares her journey of self-healing, shedding perfectionism, and embracing a more intuitive and intentional way of living. From her early years as a competitive figure skater and high-achieving student to navigating anxiety and rediscovering herself through motherhood, Carolyn’s story is one of resilience, self-awareness, and profound healing.
A Perfectionist
As a child, Carolyn naturally embodied sensitivity, playfulness, and deep care for others. But from an early age, she also developed a perfectionist mindset, shaped by external expectations and the desire to be seen as “the perfect girl.” Striving for excellence in academics, sports, and social circles, she became a high achiever—until it all became too much.
By her twenties, the pressure caught up with her. Anxiety, panic attacks, and burnout forced her to slow down and reevaluate the way she had been living. Through this period of struggle, she began exploring mindfulness, yoga, and self-healing practices that would ultimately reshape her entire approach to life.
Anxiety as a Wake-Up Call
Carolyn’s struggle with anxiety was a pivotal turning point. For years, she ignored the warning signs—pushing through stress, masking her struggles, and keeping up appearances. But when her anxiety reached a breaking point, she could no longer ignore it.
With the support of mindfulness-based stress reduction techniques introduced by her father, she discovered meditation, breathwork, and the power of presence. These tools became the foundation of her healing journey, helping her move beyond fear-based decision-making and into a more aligned, heart-centered way of living.
Practical Steps to Manage Anxiety and Overwhelm
For mothers experiencing anxiety or perfectionism, Carolyn offers the following practices that helped her regain balance:
Daily Breathwork Practice – Start the day with five minutes of deep breathing to ground the nervous system.
Mindful Journaling – Writing down anxious thoughts can help process emotions and reduce their intensity.
Body Awareness Techniques – Practices like progressive muscle relaxation or somatic movement can help release stored tension.
Establishing Healthy Boundaries – Learning to say no and prioritizing self-care is crucial for avoiding burnout.
Seeking Support – Therapy, coaching, or connecting with a community can be invaluable in navigating anxiety and personal growth.
The Shift into Motherhood
Becoming a mother was another transformative moment for Carolyn. With a background as a pediatric registered nurse, she assumed that motherhood would come naturally to her. But the reality of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum was far more challenging than she anticipated. After experiencing a difficult birth with her first child, Harvey, and navigating the complexities of NICU stays, breastfeeding challenges, and postpartum recovery, she found herself once again confronting the need to slow down and heal. The coping mechanisms she had relied on in the past—control, striving, and perfectionism—were no longer serving her. Instead, she began embracing a softer, more intuitive approach to motherhood, one rooted in presence rather than perfection.
The Path to Self-Healing & Deconditioning
As Carolyn deepened her healing journey, she started to unravel layers of conditioning that had shaped her identity. She recognized how societal expectations had influenced her perception of success, worth, and what it meant to be a “good mother.”
Through mindfulness, conscious living, and community support, she gradually let go of the need to constantly prove herself. She began sharing her experiences online—not just to document her journey, but to create a space where other mothers could feel seen, heard, and supported.
5 Simple Ways to Decondition from Perfectionism
If perfectionism has been holding you back, try these practical steps:
Practice Self-Compassion – Speak to yourself as you would a close friend, replacing self-criticism with kindness.
Release the Fear of Judgment – Remember that people are often too focused on their own lives to judge yours.
Redefine Success – Shift your definition of success from achievement-based to fulfillment-based.
Embrace Imperfection in Motherhood – Your child needs a loving, present mother, not a perfect one.
Allow Rest Without Guilt – Rest is productive. Your energy matters, and recharging allows you to show up fully.
Finding Purpose in Guiding Others
What started as personal healing soon evolved into a calling. Carolyn realized that she was meant to hold space for other mothers on similar paths. Through her work in coaching, mentorship, and community-building, she now helps women move through self-doubt, reconnect with their intuition, and embrace a more intentional way of living.er work with Wand(HER)wild is an extension of this mission—a space where mothers can explore personal growth, feminine spirituality, and holistic wellness in a supportive community. Together, she and Monica are creating a movement, not just another mom group, but a sisterhood rooted in self-discovery and transformation.
Lessons in Human Design and Intuition
A key tool in Carolyn’s personal and professional journey has been Human Design. Learning about her energetic blueprint as a 4/6 Splenic Projector allowed her to understand herself on a deeper level. It helped her release guilt around needing rest, embrace her intuitive decision-making process, and better support her children in their unique ways of being.
She now uses Human Design in her work, offering readings to help mothers understand their own energy and how they can parent their children more intuitively. This knowledge has been a game-changer in helping her trust herself, navigate relationships, and embrace the fluidity of motherhood.
Using Human Design to Parent Intuitively
For mothers interested in using Human Design as a tool for conscious parenting, Carolyn suggests:
Understanding Your Child’s Energy Type – Each child has a unique energy pattern; knowing it can help you support them better.
Honoring Their Decision-Making Process – Some children need time to make decisions, while others operate best in the moment.
Recognizing Emotional Waves – Learning how your child processes emotions can lead to better communication and understanding.
Encouraging Rest and Play – Depending on their type, your child may need more rest or more movement.
A Call to Mothers Seeking More
Carolyn’s story is a reminder that healing is an ongoing journey, and that self-awareness is the first step in breaking free from societal conditioning. For any mother feeling lost, overwhelmed, or disconnected, her journey serves as an invitation to slow down, listen to intuition, and create a life that feels truly aligned.
Join the Movement
If this story resonates with you, we invite you to explore more. Visit our free resources, upcoming digital events, in person family retreats, and follow us on Substack or follow us on Instagram for conversations on self-healing and intentional living. Let’s walk this path together.
